I expect to pass through this world but once

Reader Responses

What do you believe happens after death?
Are you afraid of death? What gives you comfort?

I am both a Friend and a Hospital Chaplain. I have had the privilege of being present at many hundreds of deaths. This experience has made me much less afraid of death. While none of us knows “what happens”, and I therefore reject any absolutes about it, I have opinions. 

I think our loved ones who have died before us reach out to us in some spiritual way when we die - I have heard many people speak to them at the end of life. I think this makes it easier to leave those we love who are still living. 

I also think the experience of being released from the body is a feeling of “going home” - being at peace and being free, not something scary no matter what you did in this life. No one gets to stay here, so I believe it is useful to think about death often; our time is limited, and we need to do what we are meant to do, which I believe is love one another and use our gifts and strengths to do that as best we can. 

I also think it’s good to say what we need to say and be on good terms with people so there aren’t a lot of regrets should our time come sooner than we think. I think there are a LOT of things worse than death, and I plan to use that understanding to guide my decisions at the end of my life.

Vonnie C.

What happens after I die? My consciousness ends, and my friends, family, and loved ones mourn. It’s hard for them, for a long time. Then eventually it gets a little less hard. Then one day, one of them realizes they were able to think of me with more than just grief, but with remembered joy as well.
 
In the meantime, I hope the laws where I live change and my body is either composted or undergoes a forest burial. After three months, all but my bones are gone. In its place are millions, maybe even billions of new creatures: from single-celled organisms, to fungi, to worms. Then, even if only for a short time, something of me still nourishes the world after my death. 

I draw comfort from knowing - or perhaps more accurately, hoping - that things will continue without me.
 
Ulfrigg, Discord

Whatever happens, I believe we will be safe.

P.D. P.

My grandfather said something that "speaks my mind": "I am less concerned about going to a better place than in making this a better place before I go."

Tom S., Lino Lakes, MN, USA

Death does not exist. Neither does hell or heaven. I learned that upon the birth of my second child and the curiosity of my 6-year old daughter when she asked me what death was like. It occurred to me then that death was like birth. Here, in my womb, was a second child, living in muffled sounds, cradled in the perfect temperature, being gently rocked day in and day out, who soon will 'die' to that world and be born into another. 

Then, at some undisclosed time in the future, that child - we - shall 'die' to this world and be born into another that we know nothing about. We are here for the experience: not punishment, not separation. I wear a pendent of a picture of a galaxy around my neck to remind me of my future: the colors, the space, the extent of the love of God without limit, the joining of all humanity (dogs, cats and others included) into one soul.

Kathryn I., Westminster, CO, USA

I do not fear death, just the pain that may precede it and the burden I may be to my loved ones. I'm not a Christian but believe there is a God, or Spirit of love that guides us.

My concept of death is that I will be as a raindrop falling into the ocean of God's/Spirit's love. What more could I want!

Sherry K. Rogers, AR, USA

At age 80 I have been close to the Earthly transition of many of my Beloveds from Earthly Life to Life Beyond. The closer I've grown to the God of the Christian Bible the easier this transitional sharing has become. 

My husband was on a long journey with Parkinson's for over a half dozen years. During his last months he 'saw' folks in The Beyond more often and we talked about who he was looking forward to hanging out with in Heaven. His actual Crossing December 2022 was very peaceful. 

I feel close connection with him often, especially now in the process of selling our house. I often talk with Jesus and him together and appreciate their guidance and comfort. I can't imagine what 'death' would be like without the context of my Christian faith and community of worship.

Marilyn S., Haddonfield, NJ, USA

Now that I have been present to many deaths as a hosptial chaplain, “what happens after” is not the question I find myself most often asking about death. I am more present to the death itself - how can it be as peaceful and gentle as circumstances allow? And when this is not possible, what can supply us the endurance to hold another patiently through death? And for those in bereavement, how can we help them know what it is to be Embraced while their life and heart is reshuffled around tremendous loss?

Sarah G.

My atheist grandmother who was an anthropologist at the end of her life said, "I don't know what happens when you die but I am curious to find out."

I studied to be a death doula last year and I am on the committee of my local Quaker Cemetery. I am also at the stage in life where most of my peers are losing parents and the other key adults in their lives. So the discussion of the end of life is a daily conversation.

I am not arrogant enough to say what happens when you die because as far as I know I haven't experienced it first hand. I have had a couple of unexplainable profound moments in my life in relationship to the deaths of people I have loved. I am not going to say "ghosts" because that brings to mind cartoonish Scooby Doo images. I have felt them. I felt their core selves. And then they were gone. I didn't feel the need to call them back.

Susan H., NY, USA

In my 30s, a paralyzing fear of death motivated me to explore spirituality. Turning to God in heaven for comfort, guidance, and realignment of what is important has given me more peace in storms, confidence in decision making, and contentment in my 70s. I am still finding distraction and chaos slipping in, but choice study, right fellowship, and review of past victories over my fears help arrest a downward spiral into fear again.

Patrice R., Blairsville, GA, USA

I want to be surprised by death, hoping it will come quickly and unexpectedly. After I am dead, my body will be prepared as a teaching aid by Body Worlds so that I can continue to be useful when no longer capable of thought or action. I have no expectation of anything more than that.

Robert A., Leiston, Suffolk, UK

We have a quantum physicist in our Meeting. He has a wonderfully questing mind and spirit, delighting in uniting spiritual enquiries with academic questioning. This fits in with my belief that the continuum is beyond our understanding, but 'nothing' is impossible. There is something wonderful beyond our understanding.

Lorna T., Frome, Somerset, UK

For me, Quakerism, and honestly most religious traditions, are about pondering how I can live a good life.

What happens beyond this life has always seemed to be more of a human add-on to religion as a desire for either comfort or to enforce control. Therefore I cast off worrying about it long ago. I don't know what happens after death and I feel no need to solve that mystery.

What matters to me is how I show up in this life.

Stefanie S., Savage, MN, USA

Sixty plus years ago, I experienced being in a realm of white light and knowing a profound peace ("the peace that passeth understanding," I've always thought). So I believe that may be possible.

Tina K., York, ME, USA

I do not fear death. I find the idea of being afraid of something I don't understand to be sort of funny. I would categorize myself as an agnostic Quaker. I have seen no evidence that there is anything to fear after death.

My father is slowly and painfully dying from a terrible disease and I wish for death for him. There's plenty of suffering to be experienced in one's lifetime. There might be something better after. There may be nothing after. There may be something wonderful, or terrible. I don't know. Why fear what I don't know? I simply try to enjoy each moment as much as possible. I will not live in fear of death.

Andrea M., Salisbury, MD, USA

I don't know what happens after death. It doesn't worry me very much. If there's nothing, then I won't know. If there's judgment, I trust God to be fair.

Catherine G.

I believe that we return to God/the Spirit/the universe, that we return to love, to the Light, to peace. I don't know if we see others that we love, but God told me that my dad was returning to God, so I should let him be.

Aran R., Berwick, OH, USA

I envision myself rejoining the great cosmic soup of love. Just another bodiless carrot floating around surrounded by an all-encompassing, compassionate love broth.

Missy R.