“We cannot hope to transfer more than a little of our wisdom to our young people – if wisdom it is. We have increasingly to stand back as they grow older, knowing that the problem is passing out of our hands. They go off to college – or to live in a flat of their own, that aim and delight of so many young people. At last they have privacy, freedom from supervision and criticism, independence – but they are now fully exposed to all that we fear….”

“Our children are given to us for a time to cherish, to protect, to nurture, and then to salute as they go their separate ways. They too have the light of God within, and a family should be a learning community in which children not only learn skills and values from parents, but in which adults learn new ways of experiencing things and seeing things through young eyes. From their birth on, let us cultivate the habit of dialogue and receptive listening. We should respect their right to grow into their own wholeness, not just the wholeness we may wish for them.”

“Every year my family and I go to Tofino, a beach fishing town on Vancouver Island. As a day trip we always go for the hike to Schooner Cove, a huge beach where having fun is involuntary. Because it is relatively empty, the walk through the woods is nearly silent. As I walk along the path and observe the unearthly beauty I start to fall behind my family, who continue on ahead. This is when I usually have a chat with God.”

“Waiting on the Lord rests on the realization that our understanding is a continuing process of learning more about Truth, of gaining new glimpses of the Light, of coming closer to God. We believe in continuing revelation. Parenting is certainly an ongoing experience of continuing revelation! Our children show us new facets of themselves continually. As they grow, they present new challenges that compel us to rethink our beliefs and how we understand them, beliefs about the world and about ourselves. That questioning can be about our very relationship to God.”

“To watch the spirit of children, to nurture them in Gospel Love, and labour to help them against that which would mar the beauty of their minds, is a debt we owe them; and a faithful performance of our duty not only tends to their lasting benefit and our own peace, but also to render their company agreeable to us.”

“Some people brought children to Jesus so that he would place his hands on them and pray. But the disciples scolded them. ‘Allow the children to come to me,’ Jesus said. ‘Don’t forbid them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people like these children.’ Then he blessed the children and went away from there.”

“Children are fully spiritual beings. They often see and sense the sacred in everyday life more readily than adults do! If we listen to them carefully and bring this awareness to their art projects and other forms of expression, we may detect a transcendent quality to their experiences.”

“There is no better rule to act by in this important task, than perfect submission to the Spirit of Truth, who is promised to lead us into all truth. If we mind this, we shall not indulge our children in anything which the Spirit testifies against in ourselves. And we shall be far from pleading that because they are young, some greater liberties may be allowed them in this or that thing. Rather, we shall feel that as they are a part of ourselves, the same divine law should be a rule for both them and us.”

“If children are to be instructed in the groundwork of true religion, ought they not to discover in those placed over them a lively example thereof? …Of what importance then is it for guardians of children to rule their own spirits; for when their tempers are irritable, their language impetuous, their voices exerted above what is necessary, their threatenings unguarded, or the execution of them rash, however children may for a time suffer under these things, they are not instructed thereby in the groundwork of true religion.”

“It can be scary to trust children with independence. But kids are better problem-solvers than some people might think. When my son, at age 10, asked me if he could play laser tag with friends, I asked him how he could avoid pulling a trigger (in deference to the Quaker value of pacifism). He decided to serve as referee. I was proud of him for exercising “discernment,” [a] Quaker value, all on his own, for listening to his “still, small voice within” and letting it guide him to a solution that satisfied his need for belonging.”

“Denying the power of one man to determine the religious life of another, it also denies to a parent the power to determine the religious life of his child, and asserts in its place the duty of a parent to awaken his child’s own response to reality. There is thus a need for instruction and nurture, but with the emphasis laid on understanding and not on passive acceptance. The child will be shown, not told.”

“Children have an inherent capacity for spiritual insight and experience, which is sometimes extraordinarily vivid and powerful. Many adults can recall powerful experiences of deep spiritual perception in early childhood, which sometimes leave a life-long impression. This is not primarily a matter of children’s ‘beliefs’, but of their capacity for spiritual experience that can be either nourished or neglected.”

When I go to church I always sit in the same pew. / I sit in front of Mandy and Linda and a couple of other people too. / We sing and take time to praise the Lord, / and when Jack starts talking I get a little bored. / Sometimes I get upset and I start to cry. / Everyone cares so they turn and ask why.

“What I really want my sons to see is their dad and me caring about people, spending time working for justice for the oppressed and building relationships with people regardless of their economic or any other status. Oftentimes, this is what really gets to me about being a mom: I don’t have time to go out and do amazing social justice work. I’m consoled by looking at historical Quaker women, most of whom had numerous children, and yet managed to make a difference.”