How to Become a Member of a Spiritual Family

“We are born into families in order to be able to transcend them and become members of a spiritual family in Christ. Our new spiritual families, our families of choice, do not necessarily exclude our relatives, but, on the other hand, do not automatically include them either. It is important to clarify that this is an internal struggle that an individual faces and is not something to be imposed by some outside authority as has happened in some churches. Also this is not a matter of taking stock of what theological or political tenets or lifestyles our family members hold and then deciding to exclude those who do not believe or live the way we do. We are really talking about what happens to family members who are in abusive relationships…

Whatever the situation, Christ does not condone abuse. He expects us to treat each person as though she or he were Christ, himself. The work of Christ’s sword in the family is to cut open the hidden and destructive parts of our relationships. Our responsibility is not to wallpaper over these rough places… Our responsibility, as individuals, is to be caring persons who set limits on what is allowed to occur in our relationships and who take actions to bring inner healing and healing of family relationships. When we have done all that we can and are still faced with the struggle to survive, then we have a choice to make that can open the door for us to have a spiritual vitality and to blossom as a person.”

— Judith Brutz, 1990 (source)
Quaker minister