Friends Do Not Take Readily to Being Cared For

“Friends do not take readily to being cared for. ‘Caring matters most’ has been quoted to us when seeking direction during our active years. But many of us will find that we ourselves are in need of full care in our old age. This will not be easy. It calls for ‘a different kind of living,’ as one Friend commented when answering questions about experience in a home for the elderly. Uprooted from familiar well-loved things, of house and neighbours, released from stabilising responsibilities (however small), there will be adjustments to be made.

But there are compensations and opportunities. Loss of physical well-being can bring a new experience of the strength of the Spirit which can overcome pain and suffering. A new and fuller understanding of prayer can come, given the time to study and practise how to pray. And in the experience of living in a Home with others, a deep sense of sharing the darkness and the light can lead to a sense of community not known before. Finally, living close to physical death (our own and that of others), we come to recognise death as a natural and often welcome event. Yet another movement of growth into the fullness of the knowledge of God.”

— Margaret L. McNeill, 1990 (source)
Quaker relief worker

Have courage to share the darkness and the light.

Who are you when you are with your beloveds?

How is this different from who you are with others? How does intimacy help you grow into wholeness?

Share your response!

Banner image: Joey Hartmann-Dow

Author

  • Margaret L. McNeill

    Margaret L. McNeill (1909-1985) was a Quaker relief worker who worked throughout the post-WWII period with displaced persons. She also worked with the Ulster Friends Service Committee during the Troubles in Ireland.

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