Seek that of God in Yourself, Too

“Self-compassion is extending toward one’s self the same kindness that one would show toward a good friend in pain. Imagine the situation: Someone you care about confides over a cup of coffee the news of a job loss or failing health. As they describe their situation, you notice their head lowering, the suffering in their eyes. Most likely, you would listen with care and patience, rather than reacting with harsh judgments or impatience. 

Now envision that you are facing yourself across that table, listening to yourself conveying some painful news. Finally, consider similar conversations you actually have had with yourself, and consider how you have befriended yourself in those times – or have not.

To grow in self-compassion, we need first to realize that the patterns of our inner dialogues are hard to change. Those patterns are primarily unconscious, shaped over decades of mostly nonverbal inputs, which started in early childhood. They are based not only on what our earliest caregivers said, but also on how they looked at us and touched us. Moreover, we interpreted those early communications without awareness. Consequently, learning to love – both ourselves and others – is not an intellectual activity, but a lifelong personal journey. […]

George Fox counseled us to walk cheerfully over the world, seeking that of God in everyone. It would be absurd if the regard we show others was not also meant for ourselves.” 

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