Each week, we pose a new Quaker query for you to consider. We’ve gotten so many thoughtful responses that we thought we’d start compiling them here. If you feel moved, please consider submitting your own response!

"In the 90s I was running a veterinary practice in a conservative rural town. There was a terrible initiative petition on the ballot criminalizing homosexuality. I felt I needed to do something publicly (thank you Bonnie Tinker) even though it might have negative consequences for the practice. I took out a half page ad in the county paper opposing it as a Christian and got some other signatories. The proposition failed. I may have lost some business. The unexpected consequence was that a very conservative cowgirl client approached me about it some days later. With fear and trembling I did my best to answer her questions. In the end, we became good friends across a great divide, praying for each other's children, etc."

Joe S., Portland, OR, USA
"I was a much younger woman, employed in Salem, Oregon and Clerk of my Meeting's Peace and Social Concerns Committee. Planned Parenthood was opening a new clinic in the city. Recently a person from the state had traveled to another state and murdered an abortion provider. Police, Planned Parenthood, NARAL [National Association for the Repeal of Abortion Laws, now Reproductive Freedom for All] and pro-life activists in our city all feared a potential for violence from those who might believe it was an act of conscience. 

An elder in our Meeting read an article about the Finding Common Ground movement and challenged out Peace and Social Concerns Committee to organize a Finding Common Ground conference. The committee said it was too big a task for us, but the idea would not let me go. I took it to our Meeting, to the Ecumenical council, etc. All said it would be valuable work and they would help, but not organize it. Still the idea wouldn't let me go. 

Heart in hand, I went to the state Right to Life office next door and then called the Planned Parenthood board member who had contacted me and asked each 'If the other side is would meet, would you meet to discuss a Finding Common Ground process?' Each agreed! And brought representatives of other groups on their respective sides, too! We did not have a public weekend conference in our charged environment, but they did unite in their own version of a Finding Common Ground process. Significant work was accomplished. Spirit led and provided the courage to both initiate and shepherd the process. WOW!"

Lesley L., Monteverde, Puntarenas, Costa Rica
"For me, every leading requires some kind of courage. The right thing to do is rarely the thing that seems easiest when you are using your own comfort as a guide. Or even if you are using the comfort of your family, or the comfort of humans in general as a guide, because what makes humans comfortable is too often gained at the expense of the rest of Creation.

Trying to act out of love rather than fear or hate is a good start, but I can't love humans without loving the rest of Creation.

In trying to verify a leading, the filter I use is, 'Does this come from love for the balance of nature?' Loving nature's balance means accepting death and decay, but I am not sure that suffering is a necessity. So I also ask, 'Does this reduce suffering?' I see so many resources being used on increasing human lives (in numbers as well as longevity) and so little awareness of the harm we are doing, that it makes me think that many of us humans are acting like a cancer. And I ask myself, 'How should a normal cell act in response to cancerous neighbors?'

There is scientific evidence that if normal cells communicate with cancerous cells, they can go into remission. So should I speak about human imbalance out of love for life on earth and a wish to reduce suffering? It is so hard to do! 

Or should I stop struggling and accept whatever happens with compassion, like the band that continued to play hymns on the sloping decks of the Titanic??"

Barbara C., Dauphin, PA, USA

How do you distinguish the voice of the Spirit from all others?

"My husband’s ex-wife has early onset Alzheimer’s and is in a care facility about 25 minutes from our home. I met her once, almost twenty years ago. His son lives in another state. His daughter lives nearby, but is estranged from her mother. It has always broken my heart that no one goes to see her, though at this point she doesn’t seem to remember many people.

We were visiting his son and his family a couple months ago. They were talking about how much they wished there was someone who could get a look at her, see how she is, not just hear reports from the staff. When I left, I felt a pull, being drawn in my mind and in my heart, to go visit her. It wasn’t an idea; it didn’t require thought or formation or development. It was a concept, nonverbal, telling me to volunteer to go visit her. My husband wasn’t pleased with the idea, but I told him, 'I’m being called.' I hadn’t really thought of it that way until I said it out loud."

Toni W.-J., Burleson, Texas, USA
"I hold my discernment as this holy gift that brightens my path forward and reveals a way opening. To be present with my concerns and hold my suffering as I would a crying baby, I am able to utilize love as an action verb. I feel leadings in my body everywhere. I feel this rush of joy and ease in my heart and chest and belly. Sometimes my hands open and my palms face up. I know when the voice of spirit is with me because I feel ready and prepared even when all that lies ahead is uncertain. I can feel uncertain and feel prepared because I have the tools of discernment to light my way forward."

SlowWorm A., Stony Brook, NY, USA
"Over the past year, I have been experiencing a spiritual nudge, characterized by a subtle yet unrelenting pull on my soul to act on an idea that remains steadfast in my consciousness. I am aware that this is a spiritual nudge due to its persistent nature, despite my recognition that it will require a considerable commitment from me with potentially limited or no discernible reward."

Douglas V., Accokeek, MD, USA
"A true calling is very rare, I've only experienced it twice in my 64 years. I would describe it as feeling an intuition to do something and knowing there is no choice but to do it. I think what we call intuition is often Spirit nudging or guiding us, but we can choose to ignore it or ponder it, maybe tweak it before acting on it - but a calling is required to be followed, as is. I have also done good works - mothering, my career in public health, my volunteer work in retirement - that I'd describe as a 'calling', a thing I was meant to do that was Spirit led, but it's not the same as the call, the 'demand', to act in the moment."

Wendy L., Vallejo, CA, USA
"I have found that a leading arises from a growing interest in a need or situation which keeps presenting itself in different ways. It becomes more concrete when I begin to share the interest with others. It takes shape as a genuine leading when opportunities begin to present themselves and friends encourage me to step forward into action despite doubts I may have about my ability or capacity. I have noted many times now that when I face the challenge of following a leading, assistance arrives in various forms, and almost as certainly as the assistance, a challenge of some kind soon follows lest I make the mistake of relying on my own strength and forget to lean on the divine Guide."

Yvonne D., Bicester, Oxfordshire, UK

"The Edgar Cayce Association for Research and Enlightenment recommends (and this is my own practice) that there are three steps we need to take:

1) Prayer. This is where we express ourselves to God.

2) Meditation. This is where we listen for a message from the Divine.

3) Application. This is where we take our message from #2 out into the world.

I find that by following this procedure my heart is much more open to receiving messages. And then I must discern whether that message requires me to rise and speak. That discernment is moved along by any visceral response I may feel. For example, if my hands tingle, I feel the spiritual energy asking to be let out!"

Carolyn H., Haverford, PA, USA
"On the question of preparing the way for powerful ministry - they often say, 'Clear the decks and prepare for action.' The action can be physical, spiritual, mental. The decks are our minds. This is what we do in worship in a way - clear the decks, clear the mind, settle the soul to make way for spirit's leading."

Kevin S., Winchester, VA, USA

Are you informed by faith in your relationship to your body and desires?

"I check and re-check that I am not objectifying my lover. We give thanks for the blessing of being able to be intimate with each other before intimacy. I try to remind myself to thank God for the blessing of being able to be joyous. The most important aspiration is to try and be mindful of Light being present in our time together. I was once told this was one way to Contemplate the immaculate conception: to be alive to The Light at the moment of le petit mort."

Alan M., Brora, Scotland
"Thank you for sharing this beautiful ministry from Damaris. It is very topical for me at present as my partner and I age and our sexualities change. Maintaining integrity in our sexual relationship is informed by mutual trust; clear, sensitive communication; patience with ourselves and each other as our bodies and levels of desire change. With maturity I am finding that physical intimacy embodies a core of love that I feel deep in the marrow of my bones. Bodily warmth matters, but rather than the fiery passion of sexual acts, the light of spirit burns brighter because we've weathered the many ups and downs of raising children together over the decades. We know each other more fully than we did in our younger lives. We have the joy of watching grandchildren grow — the next generation of the fruit of our loins. How blessed we are to be able to enjoy these rich gifts in peace and freedom, unlike so many in our world right now."

Mary H., Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia

Have you ever experienced difficulty in your relationship with Spirit? What did you do?

"In 2003 I started attending a Quaker meeting which was the start of my journey into becoming Quaker. This involved a huge shift away from fundamentalist evangelical Christian doctrines and dogma to something more akin to recognising the spirit within myself encountering the spirit or spiritual in others. Any difficulties in my relationships with others I have worked through in love and with empathy for others. As far as believing in God is concerned, I get as far as thinking that God is love, God is compassion, God is wholeness, God is justice, and so on. My religious background has been so conflicted including a lot of brainwashing that I don't think I have ever believed in a supernatural God outside of human values or spirit. Recognising 'that of God' or 'that of good' in each person is my guiding principle."

Sheila S., Great Missenden, UK
"I do have an aphorism that I live by (and have experienced in oh-so-many-ways!): 'We never argue. We're not that close.' 

I would like to think my spouse is my best friend. I cannot imagine not having occasional 'arguments' (some more serious than others) with the person I am both living with and creating a life with.

Conflict is not to be feared. The constant companion of 'fear of God' (i.e. 'respect for God') teaches me to not fear others. And to know that this is only the beginning of wisdom. I must remain open to the fact I may be mistaken. I do not need to look for God in others. I need only answer that of God in others. Then I will continue to walk cheerfully over the world."

David T., Bassendean, Australia

How is this different from who you are with others? How does intimacy help you grow into wholeness?

"My family gets my authentic self. This can be a good thing (I'm comfortable enough to make great jokes and give great hugs), or a bad thing (I'm comfortable enough to snap at them when I'm annoyed and relax into bad habits). Regularly seeing myself in this way at home keeps me humble and grateful to my family for loving me despite my worst qualities and because of my best qualities. Their love helps me continue to grow."

Anonymous, PA, USA

What do you need from them? What do you have to give? Is there a connection between the love you feel for others and the love you feel for Spirit?

"I am one of those people who answer their phones, one who will call people on the phone, sometimes texting first, depending on who it is. I speak to strangers. I make talk radio shows. I love hearing what people have to say, and so listening to my dearest friends and family opens my heart wide.

This morning, for example, Before I turned the sound on, I saw the light on my screen brighten up and display an unknown phone number. For a split second, I considered letting it go to voicemail, but instead I answered. It was a friend who helps me sometimes who had not replied to a casual hello text a couple of months ago. I’d let it go because everyone’s busy, but he was calling me in response to the text, and he has not been doing so well.

We had a good short talk and he left feeling better, and so did I. Now I have his new phone number, and an intention to talk again in a couple of weeks.

Connecting with other people connects me with spirit. Whether it’s love, care, support, interest, or even curiosity, contact with another person is contact with Spirit."

Patricia S., Richmond, VA, USA

Is it in harmony with your beliefs?

"This query is uncomfortable to approach. I could probably get a more accurate idea of what my life is saying if I asked people who know me. I hope what I want my life to say and what my life says are the same, but I might be too close to judge. So I'll say what I hope my life says: that I believe that people are fundamentally good, and treat them as such; that I believe in the power of community, and strive to be a positive part of the ones I'm in; that I look to be led by Spirit, and do my best to follow; that I am fallible, but not too proud to admit to and fix my mistakes."

Anonymous, Philadelphia, PA, USA

Historically, Quakers have refused to take oaths because of their commitment to telling truth all the time. How does this resonate (or not) with your personal spiritual practice?

"When I was teaching at Jesuit High School, the contracts were changed to read a support of ALL Roman Catholic beliefs was required in and out of school. I spent some time in discussion with the school President indicating some concern in specific areas. He indicated that the change was not directed at me, as a Quaker, because they understood I was a good role model for the students, but that there were some individuals to whom it was addressed. He said he couldn't change the contract and didn't understand why I couldn't sign with his assurances. I replied that I was unable to sign the contract as written. Eventually after some time for reflection and discernment, I resigned."

Tom S., Lino Lakes, MN, USA
"It’s been my experience that there are accommodations in the courts, at least for affirmation rather than swearing. I’ve experienced this in both CT and VT and I’m grateful for this accommodation. On the whole, however, I feel uncomfortable that asking to affirm rather than swear puts me in the position of being selected out of jury duty by the attorneys. I believe that accepting jury service is an important civic responsibility. One thing I won’t do is pledge allegiance to the flag which I feel is an oath inconsistent with sound spiritual practice. This, I believe, would be a false declaration of loyalty inconsistent with my quest for spiritual integrity."

Greg M., North Andover, MA, USA

Has there been a time when you had to choose between the two?

"I have been a yogi much longer than I have been a Quaker. I have found many similarities in the two paths and this query highlights one aspect in which the philosophies align perfectly. While many are familiar with yogic practices of asanas (physical postures), pranayama (breathing), and dhyana (meditation) — those are actually just three limbs of an 8-limbed practice. The first two limbs are the yamas (ethical guidelines) and the niyamas (internal disciplines). Each of those limbs have 5 principles. And the first two yamas are ahimsa (non-harm) and satya (truthfulness). My teacher told me long ago, and I have since shared with all my students, that ahimsa and satya must both always be present. 

We must speak truth, to others and to ourselves when we take honest inventory of our lives, but we must also balance this truth with non-harm. If telling someone a truth will be difficult for them, but will result (we hope) in a net good — then it is not harmful. Sometimes there is no way to know how truth will be received. But we must ask ourselves if we have made all efforts to mitigate potential harm. I am a direct sort of person, so often in my own practice, this looks like taking a pause. Allowing myself to consider before I speak if the timing is correct and my words have been selected thoughtfully. And internally, it means assessing my actions and habits while allowing myself a little grace and compassion during tough moments."

Eva P., Salisbury, MD, USA
"Speaking the truth to another person whose behavior is harming themselves or others may be received as unkind or cruel. When I was a practicing psychotherapist I often had to confront clients who were in denial about their addiction to drugs and/or alcohol. The key to being kind and honest is how one delivers the message without shaming the person. Expressing care and concern for them, because of their self-destructive behaviors, is the kind way to deliver an honest and painful message."

Joseph I., Washington, D.C., USA
"Occasionally fellow beings do themselves and others harm and are closed to others’ kindhearted disagreement and questioning. Kindness is perceived as weakness and blunt responses work better to stimulate thinking."

Christopher G., London, UK
"I was the recipient of what was believed to be 'kindness' in that being fired, when I asked why, I was told by the Headmaster that he couldn't tell me why because he was my friend. Years later, I still don't know why, even though I tried to find out and was told that I 'had nothing to offer the school,' which was much later denied but was withheld supposedly 'out of kindness.'"

Tom S., Lino Lakes, MN, USA

To what or whom do you feel accountable?

"I seek to be aware of my own life and how I interact with people around me. I cannot control anyone but myself and I must be accountable for my thoughts and actions. My desire to live in peace with everything guides my thoughts and actions. When I stray from that path I am called back by the spirit within to be honest and caring. I must acknowledge my falters and accept the consequences. I must then begin again with love as my center."

Michele D., Ruther Glen, VA, USA
"I am a person who struggles with compulsive lying, owing to mental illness and trauma in my childhood. Integrity is a guiding light; a goal that I strive for as I try to make myself whole."

John D., Nova Scotia, Canada

If the world could learn one thing from Quakers, what would it be? How would that change the world?

"For me the most important message that Quakers have is that we are part of a greater movement. It will last longer than our lifetimes, and we will not likely see the fruit of our labors. When people ask me why we work for peace, when it is unlikely to ever come to fruition, I point to the abolition of slavery in this country. So many Quakers worked toward that goal but never saw the result. We do the work, knowing that we will likely never see “success,” understanding that our lives are part of a greater movement that continues on, guided by the spirit."

Lisa M.-S., Evergreen, CO, USA
"When I slow down and truly listen, I can see that of God in every person, even if I don’t see the world through the same lenses. The Quaker focus on listening with an open heart and mind can help us to bridge across differences and find common ground."

Victoria E., Portland, OR, USA
"One of the greatest gifts of Quakerism is that the activism to which we are called is rooted in worship and the recognition of the Spirit who works in and through us. In our world today, there are so many challenges to justice and peace and many Friends want to resolve them all (wouldn't that be wonderful!), but the truth is that we can only do so much individually and even collectively. This is where Quaker faith process can help. When we bring our concerns to worship and truly listen with heart-ear inclined to Spirit, way opens and we can walk the path given to us with integrity. If we 'run ahead of our guide,' we may be tempted to think we can solve problems on our own; Spirit is our guide and our Quaker community is that which carries us forward. This calls for humility in our work in the world. Though it is not one of the Quaker testimonies, humility gives us the grounding to plant seeds while not worrying about 'taking credit' for work that is Spirit-led. When Friends are moved to answer a concern, the efforts tend to be more 'successful' if we get out of the way and allow Spirit to use us as instruments to make our world better for all."

Lisa E., Gulfport, FL, USA
"To really 'Be still and know...God,' entering the inner room, centering before going to the next thing or before saying yes or no. The world (others) would most likely be more considerate, gentle, and kind. Also, people would make more reasonable and wise decisions. More than anything, the love of God, self, and others, including all of creation would be the practice of the world."

Joseph J., Milwaukee, WI, USA

What is your duty to Spirit, others, and yourself?

"I admire my son. Raised as a Friend in an liberal, unprogrammed East Coast meeting, he felt an unmistakable Call to protect our many freedoms through military service. He is stationed in Japan as an enlisted member of the United States Marine Corps. My support for the servicemen and women of our Armed Forces has broadened and enriched my understanding of Friends peace testimony."

Julie A., Richmond, VA, USA
"As a singer and an artist I often think of the risk and discomfort that musicians and artists have to go through to share their art with the world. The art that inspires me most is a deeply personal window into the person who created it, and to open the deepest version of yourself up to public scrutiny is terrifying. Not to mention the loss of peace, privacy, and simplicity that can go with such endeavors. In my view this is a huge sacrifice, but art and music are my most common source of engagement with the Holy Spirit. Seemingly small pieces of art and music contain ripples of peace, inspiration, empathy, and joy. 

What is my duty to Spirit, others, and myself? My duty is to create and use the talents that I've been given to create as many ripples of light as I can in this world, and as much as it might frighten me, perhaps it is also my duty to sacrifice some of my comfort and put my art out there when I have the opportunity. It is also my duty to create access for others to experience and create art and music and remove barriers around art for the people in my community."

Amber S., South Bend, Indiana, USA

How can you tell when to act and when more discernment is needed? How do you lean on others in your faith community to help you come to clarity?

"A leading is inconvenient, not something you would choose to do on your own initiative. God has to tell you to do it, because otherwise you wouldn't. 

A leading comes back if you dismiss it. It weighs on your mind until you give in – or abandon the practices that open you up to such things. 

A leading is consistent with the core values of Friends' faith and practice – although it may be directly counter to our established habits and routines. 

A leading is a prompt to do something you can do in real life – although following it may be challenging, and involve serious self examination and elements of risk and growth. 

You may resist a leading, or even reject it. But at some point in that process you will recognize that it is real. What you do then will make you a Friend, or not."

Steve K., Tampa, FL, USA
"If my first response is swearing in English, I feel pretty sure I have a true leading. If my first response is to curse in French (my father tongue), I know I have a true leading."

Roscoe M., San Luis Obispo, CA, USA

If you are an activist, how do you stay grounded and keep from burning out? How do you bring your faith into your activism? If you are a mystic, when has your spirituality led you to action?

"My spiritual director training is through the Jesuits. I honor their motto 'contemplatives in action.' I soak in the mornings through quiet time with coffee (of course), some podcasts that feed me to receive through the ear gate and then the Holy Bible and seeing the intention that is opened for me that day. I work with people in recovery from addictions (aren't we all on that journey?) and express and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me as I am a channel for life, encouragement, and water to weary souls."

Jennifer L., OH, USA

How do you turn daily habits into opportunities for connection to Spirit? How have you noticed the sacred appear in the mundane?

Many years ago, soon after I was married, I announced to my wife that I was fine with being the one to wash dishes because "the Buddha is in the dish water." I wasn't being terribly serious, but had in mind similar pronouncements in the Zen tradition about the sacredness of everyday tasks. Only recently have I run across the account by the late Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh of how as a novice monk he learned to apply mindfulness to the job of washing dishes for over a hundred of his fellows. He concludes: "Each thought, each action in the sunlight of awareness becomes sacred. In this light, no boundary exists between the sacred and the profane[...]. Washing the dishes is at the same time a means and an end. We do the dishes not only in order to have clean dishes, we also do the dishes just to do the dishes, to live fully in each moment while washing them, and to be truly in touch with life."

These days I have an automatic dishwasher, so that avenue of connection to Spirit is probably lost. However, one of my current daily chores is cleaning the catbox. More challenging to find the Buddha or the sacred there, maybe, but no reason not to try doing it mindfully!

David S., Charlottesville, VA, USA
As a teacher, it is difficult to find quiet moments during the day, but I use planning time as well as lunch to refill my vessel at the well. Then, when class begins again, I can draw on that well to give an open mind and heart to the students. I am often gifted with moments of Spirit or the sacred in things students say or do.

As for the other half of my life, when I come home, time with my spouse is a constant experience of the sacred. We share worship together and speak of matters of Spirit as well as infuse every other part of our lives together with a quiet peace.

Lisa E., Gulfport, FL, USA
When I start a shower, as the water is heating up, I use a bucket to collect the cooler water. Then I water some of my outdoor plants with the bucket water. It helps me connect with the Spirit every day by using the Gifts that have been given to us (clean water).

Elizabeth G., Santee, CA, USA

How does physical movement change your spiritual experience? How do you prepare your body for worship? How does your spiritual life enhance your appreciation of the physical world?

My beautiful aging is my response: I enjoy much health and enough pain to remind me of my end; The pairing is spiritually guided by any light I may hold within; I am my body — all that it is and all of my acts can be worship. My awareness of impermanence, joy, suffering and bliss IS my life.

Jean N., Ingleside, IL, USA
I am a long-distance athlete. In my younger years, it was running marathons or triathlons. Now it’s mostly swimming. Especially early-morning, open-water swims in fresh lakes. The repetitive movement of my breathing and strokes center me. The first third of my swim, my mind is everywhere, then I settle in. During my last third, I’ve usually connected to my inner light. When I’m done and sitting on the dock drying off, I feel immense gratitude and connectedness to the natural rhythms of the world around me. I then begin my day, knowing I will be guided.

Peggy H., Vassalboro, ME, USA
I think realising that my body and what I consider my soul/spirit were connected really helped me learn to love myself and helped me heal. It also gave me a physical connection to spirituality that was more than just symbolic. For me, being fully present in the spirit means being present in my body and not trying to separate the two. Feeling my heart and focusing on my breathing not only helped me calm down physically, but allowed me to slow down spiritually and really appreciate and connect with what was around me.

Nicole L., Aberdeen, Scotland, UK

How do you create the conditions that help you hear that voice? What does “expectant waiting” mean to you?

Generally, thankfully, I move from nanosecond to nanosecond without a stop in my mind. However, there are still plenty of moments where I am unsure exactly what love and truth (i.e. God) are asking me to do or say. Therefore, I am happy to pause.

In that pause (which may be a few more nanoseconds, or may be something which sits with me for years), I wait patiently for a clear sense of "being right." Or at least, "being right, right now" — I'm also aware that things / thoughts / feelings / knowledge / insights can change!

How do I know? Head (reasoning), heart (feeling) and gut (mystery) feel aligned / right / good / at peace.

David T., Bassendean, Western Australia, Australia
These days I am experiencing a new-to-me kind of expectant waiting. Rather than deep centering in Meeting or Church, it is taking just a few moments when engaging with another person to try to listen to what the Lord has in mind for this encounter, how I can be present, or more importantly, how Christ can be present through me in this encounter; and how I can listen to voice of Christ through the other. I am not always successful or present in this, but am working on it.

(Substitute your own word for "Christ" and "Lord" if needed.)

Joe S., Portland, OR, USA

What happens for you when you try to sit still in silence? How do you maintain a state of inner stillness through the noise and demands of your daily life?

I start out by inwardly repeating the phrase "Thine, not mine." If my mind starts to wander, I return to that prayer for God's Will to take precedence over my own, to get away from my own ego running the ship. Then it's just a question of, for me, asking. Not asking a question, just asking. Asking for the Will of God. It takes courage to stand still in the searchlight of the Lord, submit to what it shows me, hearken to the advice that comes and trust that advice, but it is always worthwhile. Most often, a heard-feeling, a felt-voice quietly arises. 

When I am able to be sufficiently present throughout the day, then I focus on these verses: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23). If I can focus my day on these things as a ceaseless prayer, as a way of being and acting, it's always a wonderful day!

Mark D., Lechlade, Gloucestershire, UK
Where is that settled faith that God is always with us, holding us in the palm of their hand? that each new event is an adventure, an opportunity to let our lives speak? I know it is there, on some deep level, but cannot seem to get there. So I sit still in silence and am consumed by thoughts and apprehensions. Only the fleeting moment with the heron, the rabbit, or the overwhelming beauty of a work of art or landscape provides a moment of escape into joy and life.

Joe S., Portland, OR, USA
I remember the presence of the Great Knower of my experience, my Being, the silent "I am."

David D., Honolulu, HI, USA

What does “centered-ness” mean to you? What does it feel like when you reach a centered state?

To be right here, right now. I focus on an intersection of a vertical and horizontal line as if it were a timeline. Everything to the left of center is the past and I cannot change that. Everything to the right of center is the future and I don't know what that will be. The intersection of regret and fear or the intersection of remembering and hope. The center is a point of now, a point of awareness and a point of connecting to God in everything. The center is a point of gratitude for what is right now.

Michele D., Ruther Glen, VA, USA
I seldom reach [centeredness] these days.

Due to feelings of responsibility regarding community tensions and our drop in attendance, my thoughts seem stuck in “worry.”

I remember earlier times of experiencing a pathway between my “to-do” list on the left and my “dreams for the future” on my right. When I could keep walking ON the path, a deep purple light appeared before me and I joyfully walked into it, wrapping its light around myself.

Judy B., Haddon Heights, NJ, USA

If God is in every person, how does that inform your approach to conflict? When have you had a conflict that resulted in deeper trust and connection?

Over time, I have become effective at handling and resolving conflicts. I tend to be forgiving, always striving to find alternative solutions. However, it didn't start out that way. 

On my first day of school at a Friends school as a fifth grader, I got into a physical fight with a girl who later became a close friend. What intrigued me was how the teacher handled the situation. She sat me down and said, "In this place, we do not resolve our problems or frustrations through fighting. You will learn a better approach." She asked me some questions and then allowed me to return to the class activities. Looking back, I realize that my teacher skillfully listened, reduced my anxiety, and recognized the divine within me. All year, she repeated this with various students in the class. 

As an adult, I try to remember that when conflicts arise, it is essential to decrease anxiety among those present to foster better listening. Lastly, true forgiveness sometimes requires time, and I must remind myself to be patient with the process.

-Trayce P., Tucson, AZ, USA
Every few months, a group of Friends gather for a 3-day working bee at a Quaker venue. This has been going on for years. One man had a habit of discussing things during epilogue rather than adopting a more worshipful (i.e. more silent) approach. After several years of this I finally confronted him. I said he was being disrespectful and secularising the nature of epilogue. He explained that, as he lived alone and rarely had the opportunity, he was seeking deeper spiritual conversations, more than silence. This made sense to me. He also showed me a photo of a woman wearing a dress. "What colour is the dress?" he asked. I said it was green. He said he saw it as being gold because he is colourblind. Something new registered in me. A deep acceptance of difference. Green/gold… who cares! It's still a dress! We both see a dress. Since then we have had a warmer relationship and have been able to offer more of what the other is seeking, more attention to having spiritual conversations and more worshipful epilogues. Everyone wins.

-Anonymous, Sydney, Australia
I tend to withdraw from conflict on the whole, but if the conflict is in regard to a justice issue, I will stand in the fray and speak my Truth. Sometimes this has resulted in the group being able to see things from a different perspective and other times it has ended in animosity. I use non-violent conflict resolution techniques and try to approach every situation with a listening heart, but sometimes the Truth is not heard. I make every effort to be open to new ideas myself, but in these fractious times, it is difficult to be open to people who believe in bigotry, oppression, and denial of basic human rights.

-Lisa E., Gulfport, FL, USA

What have you learned from those in your community who are different from you? What is the value of religious and theological diversity? What have you done to be a welcoming presence to people of diverse backgrounds, abilities, and identities in your community?

Looking back on a long Spiritual Journey among Friends, much of what I have learned and been inspired by has come from people who are different from me, either in their backgrounds or theology. Surrounding ourselves with people like ourselves may be a human instinct, certainly seems to be a cultural norm in these times, but is not conducive to change and growth. The desire to be transformed and grow in our faith has been central to Friends from the beginning, from my understanding.

It is always, for me, a stretch to reach out to someone who is different. The fear of offending is very real for me, or the risk of the other person not being interested in me, dismissing me as an "old white guy". Nevertheless, on those occasions where I have been able to reach out, to be present, the outcome has almost always been positively transformative, in small or large ways and likely in both directions.

That said, there is also deep value in finding the ways in which we are similar: our shared joys, transformative events, fears, hopes. Our growth as individuals and especially as a faith community depend to some degree on this. One of the greatest joys is to be able to reach across our diversity and differences to encounter those shared qualities, experiences, places of being in each other; but it is not always easy. Fortunately, we have a Guide.

Joe S., Portland, OR, USA
My husband and I became convinced Quakers because we were welcomed by the Quakers with absolute Love and compassion. What I have learned as a gay man in my Quaker walk is to acknowledge and lay down my discrimination, either conscious or unconscious! Especially the discrimination that I gave to Evangelicals that had shunned me. To forgive and not assume everyone that is Evangelical is homophobic.

Kurt G.-H., Granbury, TX, USA
Interacting and worshipping with people of diverse backgrounds challenges me and helps me articulate and develop my own beliefs. In those encounters and relationships, I can learn so much more than by only interacting with people who are very similar to me. Deep listening to others helps me to stretch myself and to grow.

Lisa M.-S., Evergreen, CO, USA

How does the intentional lack of a creed make belonging easier? Harder?

People belong in the Quaker community when they experience a kindred spirit with the testimonies and practices of Friends. Sometimes this kinship is carried lightly through association with Quaker meetings and churches or in Quaker organizations and schools. A person may not always identify as a Quaker, but may feel that they belong to the wider Quaker community. These associations create a richer diversity and vibrancy for the Religious Society of Friends.

And, for many Friends, the lack of a creed attracts us to go deeper in understanding Quaker faith and practice by belonging to a Quaker meeting or church. Through membership and through regular attendance and participation in the life of the Meeting, we build both spiritual and social community. Quakers are seekers and our seeking is enriched through corporate worship and through a commitment to one another. In our worship together as we listen for the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and as we act on those leadings with the support of our community, our lives manifest our faith. There is a power beyond creed to this inward-outward movement when our faith and practice come alive on a daily basis.

Diane R., Washington, DC, USA
I am not a Quaker, not formally anyway. But I have worshipped with Quakers many times over the years. In particular, at a time when I had been seriously spiritually and emotionally wounded by my own faith community, Quaker meetings gave me space to worship without demanding that I have my faith journey mapped out. Friends honored my small contributions and seemed to value my presence. It was through their quiet caring, even without knowing my story, and the atmosphere of waiting worship that allowed my faith and my heart to heal. I'm still a member of my original faith tradition, but I attend Meeting for Worship when I can because I know the worship makes me a better Christian and knowing Quakers makes me a better human.

Roger M., Knoxville, TN, USA
After attending and participating in Friends Meetings for 60 years I am still not a member. I like seeking the Divine in community but I have a problem with the Faith part of Faith and Practice. I don't think that anyone's relationship with what they consider the Divine or the unknown origin of our existence is exactly the same. Some members of the Quaker community essentially consider the Testimonies as a substitute for a creed. Integrity constricts me from doing that since we are all individuals seeking along our path of life for what is true for us.

Juan W., Amelia, VA, USA
Lack of intentional creed is, for me, more inclusive. Therefore more accepting of individual quest. No ifs, buts, or maybes — an open door through which anyone may enter.

Hazel P., Preston, UK

How does it feel to worship alone? As part of a community?

Other people have consistently provided the example for me of the spiritual life I wanted to attain. I have encountered people who could be welcoming, literally with arms open wide; who could put care and concern above tasks and accomplishments; who knew how to stay with their friends in moments of sadness and grief; who knew how to listen without judgment and encourage without falseness. Some of these others have been examples of what is possible; some have been actual teachers and mentors with whom I could wonder about the mechanism of becoming more faithful. Either way, I would not know what I want my spiritual life to be—or know what it could be—without their presence in my life. 

Dan K., Richmond, IN, USA
This query is not an easy one for me. While I cherish the intimacy of worshiping alone, there's a part of me that yearns for the shared experience of worshiping with others in person. While online opportunities offer some connection, they can't fully replicate the energy of a group gathered in the same physical space.

However, I've come to recognize that many of my most profound spiritual experiences have been nurtured through relationships. Sometimes it's only upon reflection that I fully appreciate the impact these connections have had on my spirituality. 

Sarah S., USA
I came to the Friends from Catholicism. There’s a lot I miss about the RCC — the liturgy, the Eucharist, the incense. 

But with the Friends I found a group of people who loved me that I had never found elsewhere. So relationships have shaped my spirituality significantly. 

The Queer Quaker (response via Twitter)

What do you find yourself doing when you are stressed or upset? When you’re joyful? What does your body need before you can connect with Spirit?

Noticing is one of the keys for me. Whether I'm stressed or joyful, recognizing how the Divine manifests, particularly if it's in interesting or unusual ways, nourishes my whole being. Today I noticed an interesting shadow (photo above). Shadow is such a rich and deep spiritual subject to ponder.

-Rachel C-H, Dennis, MA, USA
I am a 66-year-old who has been blessed with amazingly good health most of my life. Always when any ailment hit me I was confident that if I ignored it, it would go away. And it did! However, since turning 60 I'm aware this practice, this habit, no longer works so well. Therefore, I am aware that if I am to look after this temple-of-my-body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) then I need to be more disciplined in caring for my physical self. My life's journey from being a militant, evangelising, tub-thumping atheist to someone who treasures his fear of God as a wonderful and guiding, constant companion has been a gift spiritually and mentally. The very least I can do is look after the physical gift of my body that I journey with a little better.

-David T., Bassendean, Western Australia, Australia

What areas of spiritual practice would you like to improve on? How can you practice patience with yourself as you move toward your goals incrementally?

It is so easy for me to think of all the ways I do not practice spiritual disciplines. And yet… The last couple of weeks have been emotionally difficult. And I notice (and appreciate) that for decades I have been developing a spiritual muscle I will call Possibility or Potential. (And we develop muscle only through practice.) This muscle points me away from complaining and toward the glimmer of opportunities, lessons, and spiritual growth. This muscle helps me stay grounded when faced with the unexpected. It encourages me to hold my judgement of others lightly, and look for ways to pray for them in their journey toward wholeness and faithfulness. It does not obscure my own pain and imperfection, but neither does it require that I be perfect or joyful to continue to be open to Possibility, to the movement of the Divine in my life.

Traci H.S., Philadelphia, PA, USA
I am reminding myself through my day to be thankful for all moments, even the difficult ones. Especially the difficult ones. The moments of grief or confusion are invitations to calm my mind. Almost always, the load is lightened by the blessedness of whatever I am doing, wherever I am. The warm dishwater. The sunlight on the leaves of a tree. The first butterfly of spring.

Julie B., St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada
My experience is that the Spiritual Disciplines help one to be more attentive and receptive to the the voice of Christ (Holy Spirit, etc.). For many of us, this is the primary goal of our walk in/with the Spirit. Currently I am trying to get back into the practice of daily writing in a journal, focusing on the presence of the Spirit in daily life, celebrating the day of small things. I need to forgive myself for lapses and for seemingly empty entries and lack of skill. As a youth, I learned to ski (downhill). We used to say to each other: "If you're not falling down, you're not making any progress." I fell a lot. I got better.

Joe S., Portland, OR, USA
First, it is important and necessary to be clear that we are always close to the spirit – God dwells in us. This query is really asking when are we paying attention? I find that I am more aware of God within me when I am more aware of my physical body – when I pay attention to my breath, and my heartbeat and the sensations on my skin. Then I can know that the breeze which I feel on my arms and face is Spirit breathing with me. Then the warmth from the sun is God’s love  radiating through me.

What I find essential is that I make space in my life, every day, to pay attention. My thoughts can distract me, my worries can distance me from God, and my plans and responsibilities can take up all my time.

Fritz W., Portland, ME, USA
One of the simplest ways for me to connect with the Spirit is through hiking. It offers many opportunities for deep listening, with each step guiding me forward. Whether amidst towering mountains or observing the resilience of tiny plants sprouting from urban cracks, I am constantly enveloped in the awe-inspiring embrace of nature.

Sarah S., Switzerland
I feel so close to spirit all the time. I am moved by spirit (it seems to me) on so many things. But I feel closest to spirit on the things I have begun, then abandoned. Because I'm moved by spirit to abandon the thing that I thought spirit had moved me to begin.

David T., Bassendean, Australia

How do you define spirituality? How has your spirituality changed over the course of your life? What is different when you are more or less connected to your spirituality?How do you define spirituality? How has your spirituality changed over the course of your life? What is different when you are more or less connected to your spirituality?

When I was 14, my father told me I didn’t have to go to Mass or Sunday school anymore, but I did have to attend some kind of weekly service from a religion; it was up to me to find my religious home, if any. I have enjoyed many different spiritual paths in the 54 years since then. The path I walked the longest was being a public school teacher. Every day, I was a servant to my students, offering a caring environment in which they would hopefully grow intellectually, socially, and individually. And, in those moments when they were engaged, working together, seeking knowledge eagerly, the world, the universe, hummed.

Spirituality is seeking a connection to something greater than the one, a connection to the world & to the generations past & future. Thich Nhat Hahn refers to that as the “ultimate dimension.” Some refer to it as God. It’s a way to seeing life beyond the obvious. 

I’m looking at my breakfast banana. If I could look deeply, I’d see the atoms, and spaces between. In fact, the atoms at the edges of the banana would blur into those of my plate. Spirituality helps us see the atoms, the spaces, the blur, the unity with the ultimate dimension, with the spirit, the love and breath of God.

When I’m connected to my spirituality, I am aware of that connection as I read, pray, ponder; as I love, cry, laugh; as I walk the park with my dog; as I laugh with or comfort a loved one; as I teach a yoga class. I am connected to all and with all. The world hums.

Toni W., Burleson, TX, USA
I can define spirituality on my side as a deep closer getting to know God more and more. The more I get myself occupied with Godly work, the deeper I get to understand myself in the vision of God. I have found myself involving in daily Morning Bible devotion, more time of praying and listening from God.

George B., Bura-Tana, Tana River, Kenya
Spirituality, for me, is our connection with everything outside of ourselves. When people are at a sports game and feel that connection with each other, I believe that is a sense of spirituality. When we empathize with somebody and attempt to understand them, that is spirituality. When we help an animal, or even take a moment to watch the trees blow in the wind and recognize how we are a part of everything, that is spirituality. I used to think that spirituality meant obedience or submission. Now I believe that the servitude that is spoken of, is to each other. The praise that is spoken of, is for each other. 

In the sermon on the rock, Jesus said that what we do for each other we do for him. He taught us that we are all created in God's image and are brothers and sisters. The best way to serve God is by serving each other. The best way to practice our connection with God, our spirituality, is by connecting with each other.

Jorden M., Chula Vista, CA, USA