Solitude and Loneliness

“The amount of solitude which is attainable or would be wholesome in the case of any individual life is a matter in which each of us must judge for himself. I would not, if I might, attempt to prescribe in this matter for any human being but myself – and I feel that it needs much wisdom to minister even to oneself in regard to it. But I also feel sure that a due proportion – whether it be little or much – a due proportion of solitude is one of the most important conditions of mental health. Therefore (to return to our original problem) if it be our lot to stand apart from those close natural ties by which life is for most people shaped and filled, let us not be in haste to fill the gap; let us not carelessly or rashly throw away the opportunity of entering into that deeper and more continual acquaintance with the unseen and eternal things which is the natural and great compensation for the loss of easier joys. The loneliness which we rightly dread is not the absence of human faces and voices – it is the absence of love. 

And love is a plant vigorous enough to thrive on all soils; taking a new beauty from the rocky uplands as well as from the rich and sheltered pastures. Love can thrive and grow strong by absence as well as by presence. I believe it does best with alternations of ease and difficulty. At any rate it is clear that we have to prepare for and to contend with a great variety of outward conditions. Our wisdom therefore must lie in learning not to shrink from anything that may be in store for us, but so to grasp the master key of life as to be able to turn everything to good and fruitful account. 

All love in its measure casts out loneliness. The supreme Love of God casts it out absolutely and forever.“

— Caroline E Stephen, 1908 (source)
Quaker philanthropist and writer