The evolution of Quaker gratitude
“My parents intentionally raised me to be thankful. I spent a lot of time in my childhood, at times almost against my will, writing “thank you” notes for presents or experiences I received from relatives and friends. But over time, that discipline of writing thank you notes changed my view and taught me what I believe is genuine gratitude and thanks.
Now, every month, I take a day or two to stop and write personal thank you notes and emails to people who have made a difference in my life. Sometimes it is in response to something they have done, but often it is more of a response to who they are in my life or in the lives of those around me.
Robert Emmons, psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Davis, says that there are two key components of practicing gratitude:
First, we affirm the good things we’ve received.
And second, we acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness.”
— Bob Henry, 2022
Pastor at Indianapolis First Friends Meeting
Reader Responses
When has feeling gratitude inspired you to act?
I have more than one gratitude practice. In addition to trying to take note [of things I'm thankful for] daily, I have an annual 'joy jar.' When something happens to cause great delight I note it in a slip of paper along with the date. Then I put it in my joy jar. On December 31 or January 1 or thereabouts I sit down with my jar and read each slip of paper from the previous year. It gets my mind into a good place and never fails to make me realize there were some events I forgot to note. It’s so easy to replay the hardships for me. This is an important replay of blessings and joys.
Michelle R., PA, USA
My gratitude for Earth's natural resources and beauty inspires me to learn more about it or pick up garbage. My gratitude for friendship inspires me to give a friend a gift or offer emotional support. My gratitude for the abundance in life inspires me to tell stories or write songs.
My practice incorporates a daily meditation where I go out to my rock (prayer) garden in the morning and I raise my hands to the sky. Then I use movement and breath to breathe in positive qualities and expel the ones I wish to ward off. For example: Breathe in confidence and breathe out fear, breathe in gratitude and breathe out complaints, breathe in (welcome in) joy and breathe out (let go of) anger, breathe in peace and breathe out anxiety, breathe in forgiveness...
I desire to expand my gratitude practice. I used write in a daily journal and each page had queries. What am I grateful for today? How can I pay it forward? A random prompt like 'Something wonderful I've been given, A lesson I'm glad I learned or Something that protects me.' Once I finished all the pages in the journal, I decided to expand my practice beyond writing. So I started the going outside, raising my hands part.
I also use new prompts from the Right Sharing of World Resources curriculum. But my real intention is to have gratitude more on my mind and more on my lips throughout the day, more in my actions! Appreciate even the negative stuff. It becomes a way of natural speaking, not reserved for certain times of day, prayers, or holidays. How can it exceed?
Melanie C., Willits, CA, USA
This Week’s Messages
Mon Nov 03
Gratitude is a verb
“It was during my nine-year stay in Australia that I first experienced Quakerism. The communal silence of Quaker worship was such a gift, as was the evolving friendship and kindness of those who sat with me. I was painfully aware of my inability to offer a monetary gift as an expression of gratitude for my spiritual nourishment. And so it was with relief that I learned that, though Quakers don’t pass a collection plate, they do pass committee sign-up sheets. There were no paid employees organizing worship times, cleaning the meetinghouse, or managing the records. There was only a community of willing hands. My skills had found a home… Like God, gratitude is a verb. At least, that’s how I experience it.” …
Tue Nov 04
God loveth a cheerful giver
“So every man, according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loveth a cheerful giver, (mark, a cheerful giver,) and God is able to make all grace abound towards you, that ye always having all-sufficiency in all things may abound to every good work, as is written, “He hath dispersed abroad, he hath given to the poor, his righteousness remaineth forever;” mark! now he that ministereth seed to the sower, both ministereth bread for your food, and multiplies your seed sown, and increaseth the fruits of your righteousness. Isa. 4:10. and 2 Cor. 9:7-10. Being enriched in every good thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God.” …
Wed Nov 05
Great mercies far beyond my deserts
“It has often been in my heart to write a short account to leave behind me of the Lord’s gracious dealings with me, and of the great mercies, which in His infinite love, He has freely bestowed upon me, far beyond my deserts or expectation, to my great joy and consolation. Praises, thanks, glory, honor and renown, be given and ascribed unto Him; for He alone is worthy, God over all, blessed forever, amen.” …
Thu Nov 06
Gratitude is the heart of real community
“Whether we believe that God is personal, or Universal Goodness, or the Light, I hope that Friends can come to realize that we didn’t “earn” the most important things in life, such as love, health, or even inner peace. Life itself is a gift beyond what words can describe, and therefore the most appropriate response to life is gratitude. When we are truly aware of life’s preciousness, expressing gratitude becomes heart-felt and Spirit-led. When we express gratitude to people, we affirm that we care about them and appreciate the divine within them. For me, this kind of gratitude is the heart of real community.” …
Fri Nov 07
Our vulnerable dependence on the goodness of others
“I felt gratitude pouring out of my heart, like light out of a bright window, reaching toward all who had offered their kindness and help. ‘This is what it feels like to be whole-hearted,’ I told myself. The whole-heartedness issued not only from gratitude, but also from an awareness of my vulnerable dependence on the goodness of God and other people. I felt blessedly connected with everyone and everything.” …
Sat Nov 08
Holy help is near
“Although I had passed through some very pinching trials, and some seasons of close exercise; yet, that Holy help has been near in the time of need. In the remembrance thereof, my soul feels renewedly bowed in thankfulness to the great Author of every blessing.” …
Read the source of today’s quote
Banner art by Olive Rush
