What is retirement for?
“Six and one-half years into retirement, I ask: what is retirement for? The signposts around me are inadequate and the expectations ill- defined at best. The advice available is of the kind that says, ‘Start saving early so you’ll have enough money for what you want.’ ‘Watch your health so you’ll be able to do what you want.’ ‘Here are the 20 best places to live if you want to play golf, or fish, or enjoy the weather.’ ‘Do this or do that so you can leave to your heirs what you have worked so hard to accumulate.’ ‘Don’t be a burden to your children or interfere in their lives.’ ‘Get a hobby.’ ‘Volunteer.’ None of these seemed to come close to answering the question that opened for me: ‘What is retirement for?’
As the question became clear, the answer floated into my awareness. Retirement is for being gentle with one another. It is time, unencumbered by expectations, to be kind to each other. Preparation is over; it is time to forego judgment of friends, neighbors, and strangers. Now is the time for joy, generosity, honesty, helpfulness, acceptance; for living.
With this answer, I am at peace. All unsureness is gone. As I reflect upon this answer, I see that it also fits all previous stages of life. Childhood, adolescence, courtship, marriage, family, empty nest, work, retirement, all provide one opportunity after another to be kind and gentle with each other, to forgo judging others or oneself, to experience generosity, and to share joy.
The memories I cherish recall the times I was this way. Each day brings new opportunities, and I am content.”
— Richard Eastman, 2004
Member of Yellow Springs Meeting in Ohio
Reader Responses
How has your relationship to quiet, solitude, and stillness changed over your lifetime?
What are the spiritual fruits of solitude?
I used to view silence as a gap — an interruption of action or a sign of uncertainty. Silence was what happened when you lost focus. But now, since becoming aware of the “expectant worship” and the spiritual fullness of the inward light, I relish rich moments of silence. Silence has become the means of truly listening. Prayer has stopped being an expression of need; silent prayer now is offered in thankfulness for all that I’ve been given through the grace of God.
Martin D., Eugene, OR, USA
When quiet in a "thin space", chapel, or forest, I felt Presence, which filled me up. Now I have tinnitus — constant buzz in my ears — and no longer ever have silence. I stay aware of the silence that is beneath the noise. Gradually the noise itself can become Presence. Sometimes.
Alice B., Facebook
For me, the most obvious fruits of solitude and silence are peace and calm on a very deep level. I experience it as soul rest, as if my soul has returned to the place the Beloved gave it as home. Then out of that space comes the desire to be generous to others, to turn lovingly to others and be of service.
Pauline F., Alloue, Nouvelle - Aquataine, France
I became a Quaker because stillness and silence are/were the opposites of my nature!
Sarah G., Facebook
I have always needed solitude, quietude, and stillness. Over the years it has taken me a while to recognize this need. It first became apparent when I was a young parent. The hour on Sunday became critical to my life. Worship was my one release into quiet and contemplation.
As I have aged the need for quiet has increased. Taking this time to sink down to the seed and into the deep silence of meditation has led me to new understandings and to a deeper relationship with Yahweh. At 85 I know that I am held by the spirit every day and that is where my strength comes from. It is a blessing and a deep comfort.
Dorothy G., Portland, ME, USA
This Week’s Messages
Attend to what love requires of you
It is so delicious to be done with things
I need more time for inner stillness
What to do when sleep forsakes you
What comfort really means
Transmuting loneliness into solitude
Read the source of today’s quote
Banner art by Georgia Peterson
