Why am I still here?

Dear readers,

We are all living in mortal bodies, in the grief and sweetness of impermanence, with the Mystery. Life is a tragedy and a gift, and as we age, we hope to nurture a spirituality deep enough to embrace both. 

This month we heard from Friends in later life, aging with intention. They are opening to love’s mature fullness, finding meaning in their own stories, shifting their focus to the present, and remaining open to new leadings. Since reading the advice of Bradford Smith to “taste . . .  everything, both for the first time and the last,” I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for the profound beauty of familiar things. I hope this is a change in perspective I can maintain.

A few months ago I spoke to Dorothy Grannell, a Daily Quaker Message reader in her 80s from Portland, ME. I sought her out because of the powerful ministry she had given in query responses and because of the way she said the Daily Quaker had helped her. After a stroke that left her partially sighted, she asked herself, “Why am I still here?” Having lived a long and active life, she said, she would just as soon be gone. Dorothy told me,

It took me a long time. How do I get over the fear? Not of death, but the fear of keeping on going. My stroke changed and deepened my relationship with my husband, who is my caregiver, my children, their children, my neighbors . . . . How do I zero in on the most important relationship, which is with God? How do I stay in that light?

I’ve come to see more clearly that if I am centered in that love, it is always there, holding me up through everything. It does not vary. What varies is the connection that I have made to it. So on a daily basis I have to check in, and ask, ‘Okay, Yahweh, how are we doing today?’

That’s where her daily devotional practice, which starts with the Daily Quaker Message, comes in. “It’s not that Spirit is inaccessible,” Dorothy explained. “It’s that we can forget to check in.” 

Dorothy considers the Daily Quaker Message “a huge gift to all who read it and take it to heart.”

I want to express my deep gratitude to everyone who became a supporter during our Spring drive, and of course to those of you who have supported the Daily Quaker Message even before that! Readers from all over the world have stepped up in the past few weeks to say that they want this ministry to continue. We now have 98 new or increased supporters (hooray!), just short of our goal of 100. We still have time to make it! I invite you to become a supporter by Tuesday, March 31, so that I can send you a gift: a limited-edition tote bag designed by Quaker artist Sophie Wood Brinker, along with my sincere thanks. 

If you’ve been admiring the “truth tote”, this is your last chance! This limited-edition bag will only be available to those who become supporters or increase their support before the end of March!

Tomorrow we will begin a month on the theme of Prophetic Witness, how our faith translates into action. From the time of the first Friends, Quakers have aspired to “be patterns, be examples” (George Fox) and “stand in the gap” (William Penn), in public witness to our corporate faith. I look forward to learning alongside you.

In friendship,
Maeve Sutherland
Editor of the Daily Quaker Message

Reader Responses

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Accept the fact you may turn out to be wrong about lots of stuff, and that it wasn't as important as you thought to be right.

Rich A.-E., Brooklyn, NY, USA
Be braver in protecting yourself and others.

Judith S., Richland Center, WI, USA
“Keep a pure heart” was advice given to me a long time ago. Looking back, I think she was right. 

William S., Glen Ridge, NJ, USA
Relax. Enjoy life.

Emily H., Uniontown, OH, USA
It's a basic human right to be able to reject anyone, anytime, with no reason given. Once you own that right, you will know immediately if-and-when someone rejects you disrespectfully that it's them who has a problem, not you.

David T., Perth, Western Australia, Australia
You are worthy of love just as you are.

Beth L., Vancouver, BC, Canada
Life is hard, so stop making it harder for yourself and others. When people want to be helpful, say "Yes please," nicely.

Carole S., Hastings, East Sussex, UK
Believe in yourself, take good care of your body, keep your mind open, and remember that no matter the question, love is the answer.

Carroll Ann S., Marquette, MI, USA

This Week’s Messages

Mon Mar 23

The spirit shall order them to teach

“In the general service of the church of God, the aged men, and aged women in the truth, are to be teachers of good things, as the Lord shall order them with his spirit, to teach and instruct, exhort, admonish, reprove, rebuke, with the holy spirit; for the least member hath an office, and every believer in the light, (which is the life in Christ,) is a member of Christ’s church, and grafted into him; and so he is the holy head of the church, and they are heirs of his order, and of his government, of the increase of which there is no end, in his eternal power and spirit.” …
Tue Mar 24

How to be wise

“We are wise when we see beyond certainty to the underlying, all encompassing, ever unfolding Mystery of life. Not only does this lighten our ideological burden and open us to each Other and to Change, but it allows us to befriend the ultimately unknowable Whole. Once we see through the illusion of certainty, humility is natural, humor is natural, and paradox, ambiguity and change become furry friends and teachers on our Journey though life. In the midst of wonder, we encounter each situation with the curiosity and sense of adventure befitting wise and joyful spirits — and our wisdom expands through the learning we do as we marvel at the nuance and vastness we encounter at each bend in the road.” …
Wed Mar 25

Dying is the way to everlasting fruitfulness

“Dying becomes the way to everlasting fruitfulness. Here is the most hope-giving aspect of death. Our death may be the end of our success, our productivity, our fame, or our importance among people, but it is not the end of our fruitfulness. In fact, the opposite is true: the fruitfulness of our lives shows itself in its fullness only after we have died. We ourselves seldom see or experience our own fruitfulness. Often we remain preoccupied with our accomplishments and have no eye for the fruitfulness of what we live. But the beauty of life is that it bears fruit long after life itself has come to an end. Jesus said, “In all truth I tell you, unless a wheat grain falls into the earth and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies it yields a rich harvest” (John 12:24).” …
Thu Mar 26

Stop talking about “passing the baton”

“Every spring, commencement speakers take the stage across the country to tell the graduates, ‘Our hopes for the future are in your hands.’ I have an urgent message for these speakers: in the name of God, don’t do it! It’s unfair to lay all responsibility for the future on the younger generation. After all, the problems they face are partly due to the fact that we, their elders, screwed up. Worse still, it’s not true that the young alone are in charge of what comes next. We—young and old together—hold the future in our hands.” …
Fri Mar 27

How simple it sounds; how difficult it is

“If we are getting older it will be harder to acknowledge that we have not been called to spectacular service, that we are unlikely now to make a stir in the world, that our former dreams of doing some great healing work had a great deal of personal ambition in them. A great many men and women have had to learn this unpalatable lesson – and then have discovered that magnificent opportunities lay all around them. We need not go to the ends of the earth to find them; we need not be young, clever, fit, beautiful, talented, trained, eloquent or very wise. We shall find them among our neighbours as well as among strangers, in our own families as well as in unfamiliar circles – magnificent opportunities to be kind and patient and understanding.” …
Sat Mar 28

Learning to grow down

“As we age we need to learn how to grow down. Remember when we were children how adults seemed to delight in telling us—quite emphatically at times—to grow up? Sometimes they were impatiently and unrealistically hoping we’d resist the natural inclinations of childhood and conveniently turn into miniature adults. As we grew older, however, the message was really a hope that we would learn to be responsible and live up to our potential—learn how to climb mountains by tackling appropriate foothills first.” …

Banner art by Georgia Peterson

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Author

  • Maeve Sutherland

    Maeve Sutherland is a communications professional who never recovered from her wonderful childhood at a Quaker elementary school. She has spent her career helping nonprofits share their stories, from schools and universities, to museums, to radio stations. As a Thomas J. Watson Fellow, Maeve spent a year living in “Peaceable Kingdoms,” pacifist intentional communities around the world, where she learned that everyone has a role to play in shaping a better world. She worked as a freelance social media manager before joining Thee Quaker Project.

    After returning to Quakerism as a young adult, Maeve now attends Chestnut Hill Friends Meeting in Philadelphia.

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